What do you say when there's nothing to say?
I follow a lot of blogs, and I get pretty antsy when they haven't been updated in awhile. I wonder what's going on? Is everything okay? Can we get an update...please?
So each day I think to myself, "I really need to get on the blog so it isn't deleted for lack of updates." I don't think that could really happen, but I still feel like a kid who is putting off her homework. The problem is, right now, there's just not a whole lot to say.
Josh and I are going through some things that we need to go through on our own right now, some healing and some teaching of the Lord, some hard life stuff and some spiritual prodding. If you grew up in Sunday School, I'm sure you've seen the paintings of Jesus as the Shepherd, holding His staff, prodding His sheep in the right direction. Some of those sheep are convinced they are headed down the right path, holding their heads high and trotting along as if they know exactly what they are doing. But, at times, they don't, and He has to get on those sheep a bit harder and poke them a little more firmly with His rod. I'm sure those sheep don't appreciate it and don't particularly enjoy being stuck in the ribs and pushed in a new direction. I know, because it is exactly how we've been feeling.
Along with some other life stuff I won't get into just yet, our family is dealing with the fact that things just didn't go as we so confidently believed they would. The choice to let go of Ember was not ours alone, but a firm poke in the side from the Lord sending us in another direction. We did so reluctantly and at times find ourselves looking back in that direction longingly, wondering what would have happened had we gone that way despite God shaking His head and nodding in a new direction. It was a loss for our family, one bigger than I anticipated, and the grieving process is deeper than I wish it were.
But, the Lord is totally faithful, and if nothing else, He uses every situation in my life to teach me lessons I need to learn. These past couple of months have been spent doing some hardcore lesson learning and the Lord has been working to chip away at some things in my heart that definitely need to go. I promise I will get into more detail on those lessons soon, but right now we are still taking our time and realizing that there is no hurry, that we are on God's time, and He'll move us when He's good and ready. We're taking a bit of a water break, if you want to stay with the whole sheep herd theme. ;)
I'm still writing and am just waiting for the right time to post stuff. I want to make sure God is the one speaking through what I'm saying and I'm not just running my mouth like I so often do.
Thank you again so much for your support and for continuing to follow us on this journey!